Superbowl pro tip: Beware sexy commercialsPosted: February 6, 2011
Since the Super Bowl is today, I thought it would be fitting to share with you some advice that C.J. Mahaney, the Dear Leader of the “family” of churches I grew up in (Sovereign Grace Ministries), gives to men watching the event.
Problem: halftime and commercials at the Super Bowl turn what should be a family-friendly gathering into a den of temptation and vice for the dudes. Because they’re full of all kinds of immorality and slutty women. And few seconds of that in a commercial is apparently way more than a dude can handle. What are they worried will happen, exactly? Perhaps it’s best that we don’t know.
Assign one person (someone with both discernment and quick reflexes) to remote-control duty.” This cannot be just anybody. Throughout the game viewers are assaulted with commercials—immoral commercials, commercials that assault and offend one’s intelligence, and commercials with immodestly dressed women (which both tempt men and belittle women). These are as much a part of the Super Bowl as the game itself.
Working the remote requires skill and coordination as well as discernment. This person needs to be paying attention and anticipating commercial breaks. While everyone else enjoys the game, this person is working and always aware of what’s on the TV.
I recommend you establish on the remote an alternative channel that presents no temptation (C-SPAN for example). Turning to C-SPAN will ensure that conversation will take place.
That’s not weird or creepy at all.
Keeping male eyes from any assault by dirty sexed-up female bodies is very important. So important that C.J. has bequeathed this well-honed craft of lust-free sports viewing as a legacy for the next generation: “For those assigned to this task I recommend further reading. I trained my sons-in-law in the art and craft of strategic clickery.”
His sons-in-law (all three of them pastors in SGM, hmm) have learned well, apparently:
I told you about the lesson CJ gave my brothers-in-law and I about handling the remote control. This is an important topic, becuase so many commercials are simply unacceptable in their content, exalting greed or immoratilty to promote a product. . .. The first step is to have a go-to channel. Another major network channel isn’t a great idea, since they usually play commercials at the same and those likely won’t be any better. My personal favorite is the Military Channel. The NASA Channel and C-Span are also highly recommended.
So once you have your channel, you have to be ready. According to CJ, this requires three things:
- Concentration. If you’re busy trying to get the last of the queso out of the jar, you won’t be able to do this job effectively. So watch closely.
- Anticipation. You gotta know when to go. If you wait until the commercials actually start, you might be too late.
- Coordination. Push the right button! Helps to keep your finger there.
…Dads, I want to encourage you in particular to lead in this, and set a godly standard for your family.
There you have it, folks. A surefire way to make sure you’re not tempted during the Super Bowl: assign someone to have no other task than keeping his finger on the remote so that the dudes aren’t exposed to even a split-second of filthy female indecency. You’re welcome!