Heard over breakfastPosted: September 27, 2011
I was getting my customary bagel and juice this morning when I noticed a conversation going on between a guy I assume was a pastor and someone looking to join his church. It was…interesting. I happened to be : with the husband at the time, and, well, you can read the conversation between that ensued between us below.
Me: some very evangelical looking white dude is reading [a Bible] to a skeptical looking guy about lust being adultery in the heart
Mr. G: ………..huh?
Me: In dunkins
Me: Apparently they have questions about this guy joining the church because they’re not convinced he really believes their statement of faith
Mr. G: Troll them
TROLL THEM [eta: I feel the need to add the disclaimer for people who might not see the levity here that there’s no way I would have actually intruded on their conversation just to troll :p]
Mr. G: I DON’T KNOW YOU ARE CLEVER, JUST DO SOMETHING
Me: Lol! Not that clever. I want to talk to the other guy after the pastor or whoever he is leaves
Mr. G: I think the spirit just gave you a word for them
Mr. G: you had a really strong impression when you woke up this morning that you had to give someone a message [see above disclaimer]
Me: This guy is actually doing a pretty epic job of trolling the pastor himself
Mr. G: Oh good
Me: Pastor dude is such an SGM style douche
[a few minutes later] THIS GUY WON’T LEAVE
Mr. G: How is the guy trolling him?
Me: Well right now he’s accusing the pastor of infantilizing church members and women
before he was asking if cannibalism is always wrong
Me: and before that insisting that something done accidentally or without intent can’t be a sin. And arguing with the dude about what certain texts mean
Me: he might be a little weird, actually
now he’s talking about the boys and girls club being a government conspiracy and that he went down there to talk to them
Me: and then the pastor got all freaked out and asked if he [the other guy] said he was representing the church [to the boys and girls club]
this is fucking hilarious
Me: Pastor left. I’m not talking to other guy.
Me: Oh god now he’s running after the pastor. I feel a little sorry for him.
Mr. G: For which one? <.<
Me: The pastor LOL
Mr. G: …………why? <.<
Me: He so obviously was out of his depth
Mr. G: *tiny violin*
Mr. G: Well I mean, if you set yourself up as the voice of God and are screening how other people live their lives and all, it should take a lot more than that guy to get you “out of your depth” :-P
Me: No disagreement there. Still a tiny bit sorry for him
Mr. G: It’s cool; the spirit was just using that guy to confront him about his pride.
Mr. G: The spirit could have used an assist from someone else, too, but they were not receptive to His voice. I hope you feel adequately guilty.
Me: Uh huh.
It was a real life example of how these churches are set up to exclude anyone who doesn’t fit into a narrow definition of normal
I’m so posting this on the blog :-P
Mr. G: I will be famous!
Me: You are ridiculous
Mr. G: ridiculously famous